Two Minutes
by LilyBartAndTheOthers
Summary: She would have to wait for two minutes. Just two minutes.


Two minutes. She had to wait for two minutes. And then she'd know. What was she going to do then if… ? She didn't know. She was lost, confused. She felt lonely. She'd have liked to cry but her tears had decided to stay in her heart. Heavy. Too heavy.  
She needed help. But she was too afraid. What were they going to think if she asked them ? She couldn't. No, she couldn't. It was her own life and she had to take herself in hand. There was no discussion. She had to be brave. No crying, no tears. Nothing. She had to go on, smiling as usual. As much as she could even if she could feel her soul dying, there. Deep inside herself.  
Perhaps nothing was going to change… So she didn't have to worry as she was doing right now. And so she'd be… She didn't know what she could be. Relieved ? Happy ? Hurt ? Upset…Oh god, why now ? A tear welled up in her eyes. Just one. A lonely tear. So lonely. Like her.  
She was trying to breathe calmly. To think about something else. It was the most difficult thing she had ever had to do until now. And she couldn't… He was gone. Forever. She perfectly knew she still loved him. In spite of all. And what the others could tell. We can't forget our love so quickly if we can just do it. No, we can't.  
She had never thought her life was going to turn on that way. She had found him. The Prince Charming she had been dreaming of for so long when she was a little girl. When she was in her bed, ready to fell asleep. He was going to take her away. And they'd live in a beautiful castle like the ones she used to see in her books. She was just a girl, after all. She was not different. She had the same desires, the same wishes. The same dreams.  
But it all was gone, with him. And she was there. Waiting. So anxious, so… She leant her head backwards, closing her eyes. One, two, three. The seconds were passing. So slowly. Too quickly. She dreaded those two minutes. She'd never have enough courage… What if… How… She'd have to tell them. She already knew their reaction. They'd pretend they'd be happy while actually they'd feel sad for her. Because she was alone. Again.  
Everyone knew it was not the right time to. Even her. Especially her. Her Prince Charming… Her whole dreams… She had thought about a better life for her. Not that one she had to bear now. Why ? She deserved to be happy, didn't she ? Like everybody… She was thinking about her childhood. She could see that little girl playing with her dolls, dreaming of that life she had thought to get, just once. A few time ago.  
She was disappointing that little girl. She had all spoiled. All those hopes she had been living for. It was all her fault. She had killed that girl, that little girl. She had killed herself. Her illusions. « Maybe not… » Her voice was weak, unrecognizable. It was just a whisper. Like a ghost. She started shivering. She was cold. Afraid. Whatever it was going to happen, she'd not be the same anymore. She knew that as much as she knew that'd better nothing come.  
Even if all deep inside herself she was wishing for the exact opposite. In spite of all. In spite of the situation. In spite of what people could say. Could think. She didn't care. It had always belonged to her dreams. Like anyone… She smiled. Like anyone… She sighed. She was trapped. Whatever would happen she was trapped. Whatever would happen.  
And then she saw her face in the mirror. She was so pale… Was she still alive ? She was not so sure. She put her hand on her cheek. Shaking. It was not her she was looking at. She was touching. But someone else she vaguely thought she knew. She had known, one day. But whom she had forgotten. A long time ago. Her lips had turned blue. Her look was blank. She was so small… So weak, suddenly. She opened her mouth as she wanted to speak. But no words came. That silence was suffocating. Too loud in her head.  
She had closed her eyes again, absolutely unable to think about something, when she heard the signal. The two minutes were gone. It was time to. She couldn't. She had to. So many years thinking about that moment where her life was going to change. Whathever happened. And so she was there. Alone. Lost. Confused. Afraid because her plans had been dropped. Because it was not how it had to be. Because it was not what that little girl wanted. Because it was not what she had dreamt of. Not like that. No, not like that.  
But she was there. And she couldn't pull out anymore. She vaguely smiled… That's life ! She took a deep breath and couldn't help looking away. She took it, her hand shaking. She couldn't do it. She just couldn't… « Oh god… » She felt so lonely. She needed so much help. She wanted someone be there. Just next to her. Taking her hand, reassuring her. She had never wanted to be alone when it had to happen. That was a nightmare.  
She saw it. She quickly saw it. Let it fall into the washbasin. She leant herself against it and looked straight into the mirror. Breathless. Like dead. Her eyes were different. There was something on her face. Her whole body had changed. Suddenly. Something had gone. It was so cold, there. So cold. So lost. So lonely. So lonely…  
She was pregnant.  
Someone knocked at the door. « Kare are you ready ? We're leaving !, Jack said. » She turned her head towards the door. « I'm coming, sweetie… I'm coming… ». If only you could imagine all the efforts she had had to make so that her voice didn't sound so weak.


End file.
